Engage

'Engage' is part of a series starting with this. 

This post is not about regret when you avoid an opportunity to speak out about a negative or potentially harmful situation to work. This is not about being silent or complicit when you should be talking. It’s about considering the time and headspace you give to people who deplete you. 

This post is not about being conflict-avoidant or skipping saying difficult things out loud. It’s about focusing on where you place your knowledge, voice or soul.

This post is not about pretending everything’s ok or skirting around discomfort because you don’t want to rock the boat to benefit people other than you. It’s remembering that time thinking or caring about the wrong person is time not focused on you or other people.

So what?

I don’t want to give myself or you permission to be a bystander in your team or organisation - especially if you’ve power and safety in a negative or potentially harmful situation. You can be intentional about when to engage or sit it out.

If you find yourself engaging in all the discussions and issues or calling out every potential harm at work -  try these questions:

Ask yourself Is engaging now the right time and with the right purpose? What are your emotions? 

If your emotions feel more powerful and stronger than the words you'd like to say in that moment - it may be time to pause before engaging. That said though, powerful emotions can drive powerful words and you'll find no judgement on that from me.

Ask yourself Is your team or manager staying silent because of an assumption you will be the person always stepping forward? 

Find out what happens and is said when you're not in the room.

Ask yourself Is the person open to listening at this time?

The answer may be no.

If someone’s words shouldn’t be important to you - don’t listen to them, including their feedback, direction or advice. Don’t always feel you have to use your energy to enlighten them. Use that energy to find support elsewhere or go round them instead.

People avoid accepting they can cause harm - not wanting to acknowledge they may be wrong or have something to learn. Not all relationships at work will be compatible and your life doesn't have to be a democracy.

It’s my digital garden - not a corporate website or a sales platform. Sometimes I’ll post the following week or maybe it’ll be a few months before I meander back. This also means you may not regularly return either so there’s a sign up below. I exist offline and welcome a chat too.