A quick and literally more rounded update

Five years since I published this?! What I shared then is still true - including advice if you or someone you know may have an eating disorder. I’ve continued to keep the mist away and it's sometimes as though it was never there. I’m wise enough to never forget and I’ll add this for 2023:

My disordered eating and anorexia seemed polite and quiet. (Side note: I don't share details or numbers so do read on). I’ll never really know where and how I found the physical strength, brain power and emotional resilience to go through all my fab work when I was younger - alongside having fun and joy with friends, relationships and many days and nights out.

Anorexia made me smaller - literally. Sometimes I’d be complimented on my appearance. People didn't know at the time but those compliments were positive reinforcement as I was scared of being fat. Scared for a myriad of reasons. What would have been said if my disordered eating had made me eat more, if it had made me larger? I can make good guesses.

During recovery(ies) mornings could be hard, so my manager helped me structure my day so I could start work when I needed. What would have happened without that support? I kinda know.  

The NHS couldn’t support me fully or at the speed I wanted. Through being able to continue to work, having close friends and manager support I was fortunate and privileged to be able to pay for therapy. Once I was determined, it was relatively quick to find someone I was comfortable with. If I’d have been different, would that have happened?  

I ticked a lot of the boxes I’ve seen in too much of the eating disorder literature back then. Maybe even a stereotype? I’m a woman, white, excellent academic achievements, pretty well spoken and always, always looked after my appearance. What effective support would have been offered or available to me if any or those parts of me had been different?

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I don’t often engage in disordered eating literature, talks or social media anymore but what I have seen often focuses heavily and centres on ‘me’.  

It’s literally still too small.  

If you want to raise your awareness this week and onwards (and let's all agree societal action is even better), then it has to include education and change around stigmas, for example - mental health, body size and shape alongside sexism, racism and toxicity in the workplace too.

(This site will continue to be in gradual beta as I continue to explore what I want this place to be and do.  Thanks for the messages of encouragement).