Unfinished words with warmth & wit
I want you to remember me, what I can do, have done and how I made you feel.
Writing and sharing words
I've written about how I support change in organisations 'with commitment and compassion’.
I also apply those values in how I care for myself and it runs through the personal journal I re-started in 2022. In 2023, I decided to start to share some my words publicly again as I gradually develop this site - my digital garden. I used to share thoughts via Weeknotes and this was my first one.
I’m returning to similar ways of writing as I want to be more conscious about what I do and plan, to increase awareness of mine and others’ intentions and to mark the passage of time. That’ll sometimes include the work I’m doing and my relation to it. Sharing my perspective across and within silos, people and themes. It’ll probably build on finding my hashtags.
It’ll show what people can expect from me and what I’d like from others.
I write to learn. Looking back at what I’ve shared before, I can see flawed beliefs (can you?) and sharing my words may help you learn too.
'Unfinished words' - why?
I want to use my own time wisely which won't always include taking very long to finesse or refine my words and I’ve talks for that instead.
My knowledge and perspective are always growing - smoothly or turbulently. Just like the detailed plan your manager or 'governance' asks for - it’ll only be as accurate or ready as when it’s shared.
Life and work is messy and I want to burrow into that more.
It’s the environment (not me) which is often the imposter and my expertise and experiences will always grow.
Following coaching a few years back, I dipped into Changing on the Job by Jennifer Garvey Berger where she writes about different groups of leaders or ‘forms of mind’. Two of them are self-transforming and self-authored leaders. These groups ask questions:
Is the framing of this issue compatible with the way I see the world?
What contribution do others make to this?
With whom do I need to coordinate or collaborate? How does this issue shape and reshape us?
These aren’t abstract questions and they've informed my work. If your organisation is providing products and services, talking about collaboration and co-design, it’s worth asking yourself and your teams similar questions too.
Just as when working with clients, my ‘unfinished words’ are openness, transparency and sharing early for feedback, growth and collaboration.
Why 'wit'?
I've intentionally used it before to show difference. Try sitting in aged wood panelled rooms, surrounded by old paintings of men and observe how that ambience impacts people - especially when unfamiliar. Humour can create a resonance to support people to feel comfortable and supported. I also want to spark joy and humour can help there too. Useful when I can’t change rooms and I use this in my writing too. Writing with wit and humour isn’t a strong enough skill for me yet and it’ll happen.
Wit, when correctly placed, brightens the atmosphere, calms nerves and provides a pause - useful when wanting to make calls, workshops and presentations engaging and memorable especially when topics are new or challenging. Cyd Harrell in her book, A Civic Technologist's Practice Guide, reminds me,
‘I know you bring something to our field that no other individual does….have the right perspective or skill (or even the right joke at the right moment), that someone else needs’.
Again, this isn’t abstract and, whilst wit certainly isn’t the only element, open collaboration won’t work in overly dry contexts - it’ll be more difficult to share thoughts and ideas. That’ll also make it harder for everyone to gather round, draft and support your product vision, organisation mission or culture change.
Just as when working with clients, my wit is being human.
Why 'warmth'?
Like humour, I've intentionally used warmth to show difference (yeah, I paused to believe that too). That warmth must be well-placed too and not confused with politeness which could be mis-used. Politeness can be…
’a methodology of controlling the conversations’ and often used by those who ‘….aren’t interested in resistance or disruption, (Mikki Kendall, Hood Feminism).
I'm not here for that.
People working in challenging environments, balancing operations and development, bringing cross-functional teams together can forget the importance of warmth and being human to each other. We all know it’s not just the tech but still.
It’s about starting with people where they are, being open about unknowns, thinking wider than those in the room and using approaches to meet more than just my own needs.
Just as when with clients, my warmth is creating an environment for work to progress well and for sometimes having overdue discussions about what’s stuck, broken or challenging.
If these words sound nice, fluffy and abstract - they’re aren’t meant to be. This page isn’t about convincing you otherwise (that’ll come later!) aside from quoting Kelly Ann Mercer in Beyond Sticky Notes,
‘Experience tells me that people want to contribute and that they can if they’re given the right support and encouragement and are recognised fairly for their efforts’.